Comic Relief 1.0 is officially out

I have put the finishing touches on Comic Relief, my metrically equivalent replacement  for the barftastically popular Comic Sans MS. It takes up the exact same space as Comic Sans, but the letters have consistent height, consistent slant, and consistent stroke width. It looks like the handwriting of that girl who was the teacher’s pet back in 5th grade instead of the handwriting of your arthritic grandfather.


The next time one of your family members tries to print up something that they designed using Comic Sans, relieve them of their responsibilities, and appease their desire for unprofessional typography by switching the font over to Comic Relief. While it is a better choice for your lost cat poster, it is still inappropriate for a gravestone.

Head over to the Comic Relief page for downloads.

Pete Carroll, why do you vex me so?

Sorry, I know you have all been clamoring for some more SMMRs and I have not been delivering, because football. And because school. And because servers. And because Comic Sans.

Well, the Seahawks are out of the playoffs, so I can spend more of my free time finding great music, instead of yelling myself hoarse at a coach that makes the wrong call at every opportunity.

GRRR! Pete Carroll

School is, well… school. But it’s my last class, and then I am free of this insatiable monster that devours my time and willpower. #SENIORITIS

I have migrated to a new server. Can you tell? No? Good. Before, I was using a generic LAMP stack on a dual-core laptop with 3GB of RAM, running Linux Mint, and being used for web browsing and office documents. Now I’m running Ubuntu Server on a dedicated single-core, 2GB laptop from 2005. I switched to NGINX, APC, and Varnish to make up for the decreased processing power, and it took me a long time to get (almost) all of the kinks worked out. The whole thing performs surprisingly well, and cost me exactly zero dollars. Here, you can see that the new loudifier data center is literally held together with zip ties.


Comic Sans, you ask? Well, I read about a charity auction called Cosmic Sans, that sold off space-themed paintings of each letter in the alphabet to raise money for kids who don’t read good. It’s a great project and all, but I really clicked the link hoping to find a font that was a modern replacement for the ubiquitous Comic Sans. When I didn’t find one, I decided to just go ahead and make one myself. Little did I know, making fonts is hard, and extraordinarily time consuming. After sinking about 60 hours into my font, Comic Spans, it is nearly complete. It will get it’s own post soon, but here is a preview:

Comic Spans preview

New Typeface on the Site

Ever since I started building my fiancé’s website, I have had an interest in typography. Just like any other red-blooded American, I love me a good, legible, interesting, sans serif. With that in mind, I decided to save you, my dear readers, from having to endure my ramblings and Arial at the same time. I went with Ubuntu, yes the font for the most popular linux distro. It is kinda funky, with a neat, rounded but a little square, style. It is very legible as a screen font, and, most importantly, it has a single-story lowercase “g”. You know, because that’s how people actually write “g”.

This was made obscenely easy with the help of the WP Google Fonts plugin. I just installed the plugin, turned it on, picked my font, and told it what elements I wanted it to work on.

I also tried the WordPress Font Uploader plugin. Useless. I never did get it to actually work. And it was a free version, so you can actually pay for it to suck harder. Plugin fail.

By the way, I tried to be clear with my typography terms. “Typeface” is what most people refer to as a font, while “font” is the typeface plus its size, weight, etc. “Arial” is a typeface, while “Arial italic 14pt” is a font. Some people are font nazis, so I tried not to piss anyone off, but I should also understand that, no matter how hard they hold the shift button while ranting about terminology, they have already lost the war.

Stay tuned for future post on how to actually use a non-google font in a post.