Dear Rihanna, get off my radio

Dear Rihanna, Get off my radio.

Shine Bright, Like A Daiymonn!

I know that isn’t likely to happen, considering the regularity with which your songs rise to the top of the charts. You know, the songs with deep lyrics that are reiterated until the meaning becomes clear, like “CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!” If you refuse to remove yourself from the airwaves, then please, for the love of all that is holy, enunciate! No matter how many times you say it in your latest song (39), I don’t know what a daiymonn is. I would shine bright like one if I thought you would go away.

Love, Jeff

p.s. the word count of your latest song is 386. “daiymonn[s]” occurs 39 times, meaning your song is 10.1% daiymonn. Here is a pie chart that illustrates the effect. Yay infographics!

Daiymonn pie chart